Usually my blogs are written from a place of reflection. I usually write about a situation I’ve gone through and share what I learned or mistakes and mishaps I encountered along the way. Very rarely do I blog in real time; like in a “Dear Diary” sort of way. Well currently I feel inclined to blog about this particular area of my life as I am walking it out, instead of after it’s finished and I’ve gleaned some wisdom from it.
I am taking salsa lessons for the first time ever! I am super excited but super nervous too. I’ve already been to about a month of classes and been out dancing twice. I love it!
But I’m scared at the same time, LOL!
Interestingly enough, though I blog about my weaknesses, vulnerabilities and real life pain on Lipstick and the Word dancing has exposed me to an all new place of vulnerability.
How you ask?
In salsa the basic concept of dancing is that the woman follows the man’s lead. He leads and she follows. Sounds easy enough but it’s not so easy. It’s hard to follow when you don’t’ know where someone is leading you, or what steps they are taking to get there.
Now in a dance song the guy is not going to lead me anywhere that’s a threat to my safety but it got me to wondering how much resistance I give God when he wants to lead me somewhere I’ve never been? Down an unfamiliar path or a new roadway. Just like in a salsa dance; I don’t know the steps, so I’m often hesitant to follow.
This weekend when I went dancing I was so nervous when I got to the night club because everyone on the floor looked so confident, so happy and secure in who they were (including the two ladies I had come with). I put on a brave smile but inside I felt SOOOOO insecure. I was out of my element. I was trying something new for nearly the first time and I was on display for everyone to judge.
I felt vulnerable. It was then that I realized I’m all about vulnerability, but on my terms. To the extent that it makes me comfortable. I can do vulnerability on my blog, or in a small group or even in a public speech because I’ve had so much practice; but being vulnerable with something I have not practiced, that I cannot do.
But I was forced! Guys kept asking me to dance and I couldn’t say no. I danced and I danced and I danced… and I HAD FUN!
I messed up, I made the wrong turns, I’m sure I looked so goofy at certain points of time. People were watching, I got off beat at points, but I kept dancing! And the guys were more than accommodating, they were encouraging and optimistic.
I left the club Saturday night with new insight and new questions:
- How many times do I let fear and the fear of looking stupid hold me back in life?
- How many times does the opinion and judgement of others keep me from being my most authentic self?
- How many times do I allow God to lead me to the unfamiliar or uncomfortable places so that I can grow, stretch or learn?
- How do I become a better follower? Both as a daughter of the King and as a dancer.
I can only come up with one answer, TRUST. Not knowing all the steps but trusting the One who is leading.
Usually at the end of my blogs I have some questions for you guys to ponder or some advice I want to encourage you with. Not today, today I will just say that I am learning to follow, learning to dance and learning to trust all at the same time. And at the intersection of those three areas is beauty, grace and encouragement.
Until next time my loves.